Choose your own adventure

Weather:  cold enough for Powder to sport a toboggan and long pants.  Also TF busted out the pantaloons.

Thang:

Sometime in mid-October 5 years ago, I started coming to F3 so I wanted to go a little old school w/ the pax today for my own lil F3versary.

Way back on those days, the Q would be handed the shovel flag at St Luke’s and we would all mosey from there to the field at Viewmont following the Q and flag.  I remember that being a pretty cool feeling, so let’s try it again.  Circle up!  Sidenote:  this method is also really exposes those that are late because they have a pretty long solo Walk of Shame to find us.

Standard issue warmups.  SSH, ISS, ATT, Humpy.  Did they feel different to anyone else though?  They did for your Q.  Something about the complete darkness of that field just feels right to me.

Mosey to the short wall in front of Viewmont:

Incline Merkins x 10

Step ups x 10

Decline Merkins x 10

Wall sits w/ Joe Fraisers. Called by TF.  2000 IC.  At least that’s what it felt like.

Mosey to tiny hill, a bump really, for a quick ladder:

Star Jumps @ bottom/RBC @ top: 5 -1 w/ Crawl Bears up the hill between each rep.  CB’s are really not fun, but should be a staple at HKY workouts.

Mosey to parking lot where my sweet sweet ride was parked.  Pax were given 3 choices to select from:

Little Sand Babies:  which may need a new name as they are currently filled with broken pavement.  However Broken Pavement Babies doesn’t have the same cache as LSB.

Blocks

Bing Bricks

Exercises as follows:

Squats: 10/20/30

Bench Press:  30/40/50

Curls: 20/30/40

Burpees:  10/15/20

after each exercise, run a lap around the Viewmont track.  The number of reps for each depended on which coupon you selected.  First number is LSB, 2nd is blocks, 3rd is bricks.

Normally I would have only brought LSB’s and not provided a choice.  However, I tried to keep my Under 200 Lb brothers in mind and let them Choose their own Adventure.  Anyone remember those books from about 1984?  I loved them.  Went something like this:

You and your pal, Dexter, are walking down a alley and you come across a drunken hobo.  Do you:

A: wait until he passes out, steal his Wild Irish Rose, run off and get hammered?  if so, turn to page 8

B:  Give him a fiver and your leftover McDLT?  If so, turn to page 9

C:  Take a whiz on him?  If so, turn to page 10

D:  All of the above?  If so, turn to page 11

Note: always select D

Next up:  Swerkins w/ a partner.  40 total.  LBC’s while your pat’na finishes his reps.

Speaking of Choose your Own Adventure, we headed to the pumpkin patch.  Do you chose:

A:  a big pumpkin?  If so, you’re a man w/ nice sized Cojones

B:  a medium pumpkin?  If so, you’re likely a Millennial

C:  an impish sized pumpkin?  If so, you’re definitely named Suppository and/or Sheamus.

Slow squats x 15 IC

Overhead press x 15 IC

Partner up for Squat Thrusters, 20 each.  Note:  Pumpernickle was my partner and the dude was throwing the pumpkin as high as he could every time.  Fortunately for me, he’s got pencil shaped arms and could barely get it over his own pumpkin sized head.

Line for up over/unders.  This did absolutely zero from a workout perspective but was just stupid fun.  I think I had my head in Pump’s arse at least 4 times….and oddly enough he wasn’t even in front of me.  Ok, ok.  He was, but I did.  And I think he got a kick out of it.

Another note:  Beaker and I have a thing for a good pumpkin workout at St Lukes.  It’s just fun.  We did a bunch of pumpkin reps during my 2nd workout ever and ever since, it’s just stupid fun.  Thanks for endulging me with that.

Mosey back towards the flag.  But first Mike Tyson’s.  These are a merkin/mountain climber hybrid thing.  Good stuff.  Try ’em out sometime.  10 IC

Bear crawl to shovel flag.

3 minutes of Mary.

WOD:  What’s your legacy?  Your family/children are the obvious answer but what else are you doing for your community?  Do sumpin’!

Lots of random thoughts throughout, but here’s more:

• 5 years of F3 for Cousin Eddie.  Thanks yalls.
• Google ULP:  Unfair Labor Practice.  Unleaded Petrol.  Unit in the Last Place.  Ultra Low Power.  Ubiquitin-like Protein.  No where does Ultimate Life Problem show up.  Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
  • You had to be there to understand this one.
•  Anyone else remember the McDLT?  It came in a huge syrofoam box w/ 2 separate compartments.  Beef on one side.  Lettuce and tom on the other.
  • It was almost as good as the McRib.
  • But don’t try that shit that they try to pass off as the McRib now.
    • it’s complete garbage
      • or maybe my taste buds are just that much more sophisticated??
        • yes, I am just that fancy now.
• An anonymous pax farted during Mary.  It was massive, lasted longer than normal (TWSS) and was completely out of character for this man.  Or at least he probably isn’t doing much farting like that during his work hours.  Which is just another subtle – actually, there was nothing subtle about it – reminder of why F3 is so awesome.
  • think about it, where else can a man just be a dude?
  • is he cutting that cheese at the Y?  Crossfit?  Fuel?  Not in the presence of any female, that’s for certain.
  • 5:30 – 6:15 is a time for us to be kids again.  And that’s awesome.  This world is too serious for us to not deserve that time to let our guard down.
• Fart away people.

Out
CE