DATE: 2022-08-27
AO: Dadscamp
Q: Goldberg
PAX: Feeny, Centerfold, kapowski, Keith Williams – Publix, Jordache, Will Clark – CrossStitch, Retread, Jeff Taylor, ThinkTank, Will ‘Powder’ Faulkner, Happy Trees, PBR, Billie Jean, Dave Goble, Phlegm, Hky Goodwill, Hanger, Caboose, Owie, Tooth Fairy, Jonathan Hata, KLEENEX, Twig, Belding, Hot Lips, Jumpsuit, garrettcford, Jason Reutter
FNGs: Magic Legs, 18 FNGs, 53 2.0s – Pom Pom, Kryptonite, Manny, Bug, Cupcake, Wrangler, Lucky, Huckleberry, Twinkle Toes, Foghorn, Rex, Training Wheels, Big City, Bowser, Game Master, Minnie Mouse, Copy Cat, Petals, Ribeye, Goldilocks, Lady Glitter Sparkles, Cannon Ball, E Bob, Creese, Toothless, Boom Fire, Dictionary, Bernie, Purple Blaze, Sega, Punky, Snuggie, Party Rex, Rotini, Rainbow Dash, Webslinger COUNT: 84 caught on video during COT
MISSION: Create a memorable beatdown for Dad’s Camp that is enjoyable for all without injuring/killing a kid.
SITREP: 75 registered PAX, unknown hordes of 2.0s ages ranging from 16 to potentially as low as 5. 2.0s will probably outnumber the PAX so partnering up is out, there will be kids who are shorter than an average PAX’ legs, so running is out.
RECCONAISANCE : Q has never been on site, Google Earth is useless due to tree cover, scouting AO is out.
GOOD LUCK TROOPER
After much deliberation with my 2.0, the following was finally agreed upon…with a few last minute modifications.
Thanks to Our Lord God Almighty for a large enough location to perform it, the perfect weather to do it, and the dew on the grass to level the field!
Field was prepped to the following specs: 90 paces long, 45 wide. Circle in the middle of field measured at 20 paces in diameter. midfield line marked. Blue cones at goal line, orange on boundaries, white marking center circle (safe zone)
WARMUP: Little arm circles, humpies, IST all in cadence, 10 merkins (because a girl told my 2.0 she really hoped there weren’t going to be any).
THE THANG: Sharks and Minnows
Split PAX to one side, 2.0s to the other. Keep herding 2.0’s until all are past start line.
Challenge the 2.0s with the following, (Minnows) get past your dads and cross the blue goal line without getting tagged. You can pause in safe zone for a short time to get a break. If you are tagged, 2.0s must return to start, perform 10 sit-ups and try again.
Dads were challenged with tagging kids before they reach the goal (Sharks). To even things, they were handicapped by being required to link arms with another PAX to operate in tandem. Ready, Set, GO! Chaos ensues but all seem to be enjoying it – No injuries!
Next round, Kids are Sharks, dads are Minnows. Valiant efforts were made, very little success achieved by the dads. The hordes of Sharks and utter lack of traction due to the dew made it heavily skewed in the kids favor. Billie Jean’s 2.0, Bowser, had about 1/4 of the field shut-down. That kid found traction somewhere and had an uncanny ability to predict the dad’s movements (future safety right there!) Kid’s only 7!
Dads were given a second chance at Shark duties, this time without the tandem handicap. Not much difference from the first go round!
Score card: Kids smoked the dads, nearly all made it to the goal (In their defense, not many of the kids actually returned all the way to the start and paid the penalty, but who cares, all seemed to be having a good time)
Last exercise: Split 2.0s and dads, line each up at half court single file front to back (harder than predicted TBH). 2.0s leapfrog their line back to front , dads Tunnel of Love.
The idea was to race to the goal line. This rapidly fell apart as the kids had no idea how to leap-frog and the dad’s mutinied mid-second lap after gaining a commanding lead on the kids.
COT: Colossians, Chap 3 verse 20 for the kids, 21 for the dads, and 23 for all.
Please welcome the following FNGs:
Sparky
Flossy
Spider Monkey
Fish Chicken
Dolittle
Showtime
Ventura
Sweet Tooth
Trans Am
Woodstock
Aqua Jelly Bean
Cheer
Spirit Fingers
Hashtag
Apologies to Owie and his 2.0s. Looks like I double tapped the record during his 4 (!!) kid’s naming.
If I missed anyone else or mangled a name, please forgive me.
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