Rain + Whippin’ Stick = Grassy muddy Soup
The Drainage Engineers that built Northview Middle School should be flogged. When it rains, the athletic fields become soupy and gross. YHC is keenly aware of this and therefore wore proper attire to Whippin Stick.
What proper attire is that, tough guy?
Bobo’s, of course. Aint no need for fancy high dolla shoes at the Whippin Stick boys. BYOBBs.
What are Bobos, Cousin Eddie?
Your busted up shoes, of course. Here’s the Urban Dictionary description:
Generic, no-name shoes or even worse shoes with corny names (i.e. pro-wings, avia, sike (just glue it), four-stripe adidas, ragamuffinpinwheelsdeluxe. . .).
If you’re doing F3 and don’t have a pair of Bobo’s, head to your nearest Wal-Marks and get’cha a pair. I currently have 3 pairs of Bobos.
Weather: Soup. Slightly chilly. Everything was was wet and cold. (Not what she said)
Thang:
Standard issue Warmups
Grab a block, meet me at the top of the stairs. Now meet me at the bottom of the stairs w/ your blocks. One of my oldie favorites: one pax does a farmer’s carry up and down the stairs w/ 2 blocks while the rest of the pax do an exercise that that pax calls. I love this b/c it gives folks a chance for their inner asshole to shine. Are you a nice guy that doesn’t want to call a tough exercise or are you a dick that calls a tough one?
Goodwill was up first. He’s a nice guy so he calls squats
Billy Jean. He’s a dick. Calls burpees.
Publix. See above. Calls seal burpees.
Doughboy. He’s a nice’n. Calls…..um…..what the heck did you call DB? I think I was on my six whatever it was. Let’s go with LBC’s.
Cousin Eddie. I just wanted to see them do something stupid. Monkey Humpers.
Next up was another old favorite. Hold your block out in front of you for as long as you can. If you give up before the other pax, you have to start doing burpees until the last pax quits w/ the block holding. Winner gets to call the next exercise. Also a good test to see if you’re a dick or non-dick. However, a couple of the pax tried to get smart and drop their blocks at the same time to avoid burpees. C Ed caught on to this and called 10 penalty burpees.
Mosey over to baseball field that was 10 feet under water. At least. Exercise was to carry your block to 1st base, do 25 curls, leave your block, run a lap around all the bases, come back and take your block to the next base for 25 curls, repeat until we get to home. Due to the fact that the infield was under water, the laps were significantly reduced to avoid having to swim from 1st to 2nd and so on.
Mosey to football field. Leave your block in a corner of the end zone for a semi-spoke/semi-crossroads exercise inspired by my main man Abraham. Abraham? Yeah, that Abraham that is still turning sad clowns into HIM down in some swamp in South Kak.
Start w/ 5 hand release merkins in the middle. Run to a corner of the end zone. Do the called exercise, run back to middle for 5 HR M each time….you know the drill.
Round 1:
Corners 1 and 3: 25 curls
Corners 2 and 4: 25 goblet squats
Round 2:
Corners 1 and 3: 50 bench press
Corners 2 and 4: 25 HR Merkins
Almost out of time here.
Howling Monkeys. These are fun. Get in monkey humper position. One pax does 10 monkey humpers at a time until all pax have done 10. Repeat and for 9 MH’s, repeat for 8 MH’s, repeat for 7 MH’s.
25 more curls
10 more HR Merkins
mosey to the bottom of that big ole hill
curls to the top, drop your blocks, back down the hill.
Reverse bear crawl up hill.
Done and done. Lots of butt hurting after the RBC.
WOD: Bear Bryant kept a poem with him and read it everyday. Google it and read it. It’s purt good. Don’t waste your days. Each day should be cherished.
Bullet points start here:
- Guest Q was going to be Banjo, but called an audible last night when it seemed attendance was going to be slightly below average.
- if one were to keep attendance records for whipping stick, it would look like this almost every single week: 4 dudes in their 40’s, 2 random young’ns.
- if one were to keep post-whippin stick eating attendance records, it would look like this almost every single week: 4 dudes and 8 bacon egg and cheeses.
- if one were to keep attendance records for dudes that run around the proximity of whippin stick while others post, it would look like this almost every single week: Fuse, Fuse’s dog, Herniator, HBC, other Fleet Feet Randos
- if you don’t post here, you’re missing out. I promise. It’s still almost always a great workout, but the vibe is way cool…..you know what? Maybe it’s because you aren’t there???? Hmm, never thought about that. Tell you what, we’ll let you know when we think you’re ready to post at WS. Until then, stay in your footed jammies. #membersonly
- there was much consternation and belly aching about the soupy conditions on the WS field. Almost called a tunnel of love to really get that belly ache going.
- Anyone else remember coming back from WS, Expresso, etc. back in the day and being soaked to the bone, and covered in grass and dirt? I liked that. I miss that. It’s ok to get dirty boys. In fact, it’s downright fun.
- One topic of discussion during the workout was that if you’re a doctor, you always have a built in BS excuse in life and I’m calling you out, Mister Doctor. The “I’m on call” excuse is now not valid and gets an XXX. We’re not saying that a certain guy that works on noses used that this am….wait, yes we are.
- as a result, the following pax have acceptable excused absences:
- Publix: I had a late night accounting call. Had to do some debits and credits till late.
- Billy Jean: I had a late night grocery store call. Had to do some grocery boy stuff.
- Goodwill: I had a late night pickup. Someone left a couch on the sidewalk and I had to pick it up.
- Doughboy: Someone had the late night munchies and I had to make them some doughnuts.
- Cousin Eddie: Ventilation Emergency. Someone had some grease laden vapors escaping their restaurant. Several items of clothing were in danger of smelling like grease if something wasn’t done immediately.
- as a result, the following pax have acceptable excused absences:
- All gave some. Some gave all.
- Get busy livin, or get busy dyin
- If a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his ass a’hoppin
- Ride to live, live to ride
- Loud pipes save lives
- Anyone caught bipedal in five wears his ass for a hat (name that movie)
- Ed out