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So, I think I’m really starting to get a hang of this whole F3 thing, I’m picking up on the lingo, getting to know some people out in Ohio and I’m starting to branch out to different workout groups and not just running. Maybe just one small step for a man but a giant leap for a soccer-armed millennial.

So here’s the thing, commonly referred to as the “thang”:

The key to a successful workout is, of course, a thorough warm up.  2 SSH(jumping jacks) – 1 is just lazy and 3 is showing off.

Mosey(run) to Burke County, at the entrance to the water plant.  Pax(attending personnel) engage in 30 merkins(push ups).

Trivia questions to decide if we mosey(run/jog) or indian run(personnel running in a linear formation, last personnel runs to the front of formation, so on and so forth).  Trivia question is as follows: what is a group of ants referred to? A(answer).): Colony.  Answered correctly, regular mosey(run/jog) back to starting point.

30(each leg) Mountain Climbers(Personnel in plank position, bring knee to chest in a quick fashion, alternate legs)  Trivia Q(question): What is a group of crows called? A: Murder.  Answered incorrectly

Indian run up the hill to hickory city park. Pax(personnel) perform 10 Burpees(execute a pushup, jump to feet, jump in the air with raised arms, repeat).  Trivia: Q: what is a group of sharks called? A: Shiver.  Answered incorrectly.

Indian run back to starting parking lot.  30 Merkins(pushups).  Trivia, Q: what is a group of lions called? A: Pride.  Answered incorrectly.

Indian run up the big hill to Grace Church(possible non-denominational organization of Christians) 40 air squats(squat in the air, not an underwater squat).  Trivia, Q: what is a group of ill-informed, ill-intentioned, ill-mannered group of men who run around way to early called?  A: F3.

Slow mosey to playground.  30 seconds of pullups(opposite of pulldown) AMRAP(as many reps as possible), Dips(hands placed behind you on a raised object, feet out straight, lower until triceps are parallel to the ground, raise back to straight arms, repeat)on a the balance beam until someone cries mercy, russian dips(soviet dips) but they’re not fun or cool(joe camel) so we go back to dips.  Someone cries mercy.

Mosey(jog, or walk, whatever) down the hill to the parking lot that parallels the big hill.  There are roughly 30 parking lines, bear crawl (crawl as if you’re a bear) up 5 lines, flip over, crab walk( crawl/walk as if you’re a crab) 5 lines, repeat to the top. plank until everyone is finished

Mosey back down.  we go to the other side of the parking lot, roughly 35 lines, lunge walk(walk in an exaggerated step so that your trailing knee nearly touches the ground) up 5 lines, 20 Merkins(pushups) lunge walk 5 lines, 5 Burpees, repeat.

Exercise complete(we done).

WOD: From the greatest orator(an eloquent public speaker) and former host of A Prairie Home Companion(“Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.”) Garrison Keillor: Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.”

Moleskin (side note, extra comments that don’t fit into Backblast(written recap of F3 workout))

Organ grinder is in reference to a stomach churning sensation produced by said workout’s AO(area of operation, IE workout location) and not a man turning a hand-crank-box-shaped instrument.

Welcome Stalker(Truck stop aficionado) from Ohio(Republican farming state known for their overrated college football and sad professional sports)

I didn’t write a backblast for my Q at the mount, it’s not you, it’s me.

Arrow… it’s not you, it’s me.

Flying J truck stop orders lots of hood vents( contraption used to filter air, generally used in a kitchen)

I wish some one had explained F3(fitness, faith and fellowship) terminology(words) to Me.

I thoroughly enjoy working out with my F3 Brethren(archaic plural usage of Brother)