Dew Whut?

You scurred?

If not, join us on 8/29 and 9/5 at ER.  

We have re-introduced what we refer to as Old School ER at the first Monday of each month.  However, with the upcoming Labor Day holiday on the next scheduled OSER, your boy thought it appropriate to change it up a tad.  We’ll still do OSER on 9/5 to keep it in the rotation.  But in order to give folks a chance to join in on the fun, we’re also running it next Monday (8/29). 

Years ago, we held a little friendly competition to see who was the baddest man that can run OSER.  It was broken into 3 weight categories:  Pencil Necks, Smediums, and Fatties.  Or something like that.  We’ll do that again.  There will be prizes for whatever categories are determined before 8/29.    

Reminder:  if you run w/ a weighted vest, you get more points.  The more weights you use, the more points you get.  Rucks can be worn, but you cant take them off for the LBC’s/merkins.  Move that ruck to your front when you’re doing LBC’s?  You figure that out, ok?  Meantime, I’ll figure out a way to ensure that Kapo gets screwed out of his medal like last time. 

 You know what, let’s figure that out now:

Pencil Necks – 169 lbs. and under

Smediums – 170 – 199 lbs

Fatty Boombalattys – 200+ lbs

Extra points given as follows:

Naked = no weights….don’t get any ideas Creeper.  10 points per lap.

10 lbs or less….come on man.  Grow a pair.  -1o points deduct for that weaksauce.

25 lbs: +2.5 points extra per lap

35 lbs:  +3.5 points

50 lbs: +5 points

75 lbs: +7.5 points

100 lbs:  you’re a moron.  Go home.  

Vegas Odds:

• Plank: 100/1 #stillbanned
• Markup: former Fatty champ.  Will he show?  6/1
• Ferdinand:  2/1…that he’ll vaporize the stairwells with his butt cologne
• Twig:  1/1 that he’s off like a bat out of hell for the 1st Lap, then fade quicker than Dracula during sunrise.
• Short Sale:  4/1…that he currently has 3,000+ unread texts
• HBC:  2/1, that he preruns the infamous Snuggles and Cuddles segment
• Crossstitch:  1/1 that he weighs in at 210.  Dude is a stump.
• Pumpernickle:  6/1 that he goes to Burn. Or Fuel.  Or is it Buel?  Whatever it is will have ferns and a springy floor so his vert looks higher.
• Creeper.  Speaking of a stump.  He’ll need directions for sure. 
• Beaker:  he’s back.  but I can still roll him up and smoke his narrow ass.
• Powder:  5/1 that he’s asking for permission from M to attend
• Publix:  8/1 that he’ll run on his tippie toes
• Jordache:  1/1 that he’ll be in all black
• Goodwill:  4/1 that he combs his luxeriously salt and peppered hair before each post
• Kapo:  2/1.  Seriously.  He’ll be out for blood after losing to SP by 0.25 point last time we did this….or did he win by 0.25?  I still get those 2 confused for some reason. 
• Cheese Whiz:  1/1 that he shows up at 05:32…and still rolls me up and smokes me.
• Doughboy:  10/1 bro can’t hang
• Medball:  Red X
• Belding:  not tough enough
• Hot Lips:  4/1  that he shows up wearing his Batman chest thing.  WTH is that my man?
• Cousin Ed:  1/1 that he dies somewhere on Stairwell 2

See you bitches there.