ER: some love her, some hate her. Most hate her. She’s ugly. She’s big. There’s a creepy empty house behind her that looks like the end scene from Blair Witch Project. She’s filled with crap (literally). Old diapers. Cigarette butts. Moving cars going up. Then there’s the Free Candy van coming down. Don’t forget the trash truck that flies by at 5:30 on the nose. But me? I love that old dirty girl. Something about her calls to me like those hot, wet Sirens from O Brother Where Art Thou? Do. Not. Seek. The. Treasure….We thought you was a toad. Anyway, you get the point. There aren’t many Mondays that I miss. You should try it out too.
Let’s get to it. Flex Seal is still on IR and needed a substiQ. The request was sent out on Slack for someone to fill in. I think I waited 5 or hours before I jumped on it. I knew it was time. Old School ER was called. Surely if you’re reading this, you know what OSER is.
If not, there are 5 stops in one lap. Starting point is 3rd Ave and N Center St.
1st Stop: Run up to 5th Ave & N Center St. ___ merkins & ____ LBC’s
2nd Stop: top of first stairwell ____Merkins
3rd: bottom of same stairwell ____ LBCs
4th: top of next stairwell ____ Merkins
5th: bottom of same stairs _____ LBCs
return to 3rd & N Center = 1 lap
reps start at 20 each stop. Take one off for each lap completed. In theory, that’s supposed to make the next lap easier since you are doing less reps.
It doesn’t.
The suck just keeps on going (twss).
You can’t catch your breath. The stairwells feel like someone has vacuumed all of the air out of it and left……well, nothing in it’s place. The long slow hill up N Center gets you. The staircases zaps all energy from your legs. Some of the doors to get into the stairs are so messed up and hard to open, they feel like someone has played a joke on you and that takes up valuable time. Mumblechatter is at near zero. You look at your watch….it’s 5:51. Shit, you gots to be seeing double. But you’re not. You’re just in the gloom son.
In fact, just about the only thing that keeps me going is the fear of Lap Shaming and/or the fear of either Herniator, Phlegm, Cheese Whiz passing me. Not just one, but all three.
We briefly talked this morning about progress. It’s impressive. I believe I squeaked out 3.5 laps at my first go. Flamer thinks he busted out 2. And that was his first post ever. There have been some classic moments there. We had one dude that was so beat down and whipped, he tried to hide from us for the rest of the workout. Another one just gave up and kept saying “Nah” as he chilled out on a guard rail when we tried to get him going again.
Totals for today look like this:
Fuse: 6.5
Flamer: 5.25
Sheamus: 5.25
Publix: 6
Cousin Ed: 6
Kapowski: 6.5
Herniator: 6.5
Cheese Whiz: 6.5
HBC: 6
Phlegm: 6.25
One day the record will be broken. Until then, keep pushing fellas. Just proud to be in your shadows.
Out
C Ed
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