Durpee (there will be no fisting wild animals in fur boots or gas masks)

A Monday evening MACALLAN 15 toast shared on slack, earned respect points from RX, but also came with the warning/disclaimer that I’d be Q planning under the influence and the following workout would not be as smooth as that fine scotch I consumed. Seems it worked as the usual 7-8 was a mere 5 HIM this morning.  
Alarm goes off 20 mins earlier for a swinger Q,  I always need that extra time to last minute work on the pain to come.  My kid’s recently schooled me on an Alexa definition of  derpy learning it meant foolish or stupid; Much like the workout i would introduce the pax to today the Durpee.  So I thought it good to make a quick google search of durpee: oops spelling here mattered a lot 😳👊🐗👢🤿🎭😷 .  Pax arrive flag posted time to disclaimer synchronize our watches and warmup.  
warm up: 15 SSH (lots of resentment), 15 ATT, 15 other warmups (Bismarck thought this had something to do with my 15 year aged single malt, no one even considered it was the 15th of the month, or that 15 was just where I decided to hault on.  🤷‍♂️. I’m writing this 1 week later and really surprised I haven’t lost you for my pointless Rambling.  Also I can’t remember the rest of the warmups so let’s get to the thang… 

Mosey to Post Office (I remember mumble chatter of the fears and concerns this was an accidental 5 mile Wednesday stargate workout.) I did inform them that when I have a strong drink there’s a chance I text a certain bro in Law that is an 8 year F3 OG of Carterico for ideas.  And learn of this terrible workout 

lets circle up for Durpees: 

Deconstructed burpee

12 squat
12 outward thrusters
12 merkins
12 inward thrusters
12 jump ups 
Then down to 8 4 2 (why not 10, or 6? I have no clue) 

Then end with 12 full burpees

Dodged a 5:30AM parking lot cruiser who was not about to miss the postal mail deadline of 5pm that day.  
mosey back to the AO up west Avenue.  I point out a 10 yards distance in the grass next to LEO’s tell them to remember that and then take the PAX to Harper and Willow stoplight.  Explain the work out details we would complete said exercise then sprint Willow to Harper intersect. Then Army crawl that 10yard  grassy patch.
PAX let’s do the 

Charles Bronson (one ripped dude) 

Start with 3 shovel flags, cones or other distance markers with first two 100 yards apart in a line, the last another 10 yards past. (for us 10 yards to Our left). At starting point, perform 50 SSH’s, sprint to 2nd point, then army crawl to 3rd point. Mosey back to start, 50 Merkins then rinse/repeat. 50 burpees , rinse/repeat. 50 LBC’s, rinse/repeat. Finish with 50 Jump Squats rinse/repeat. Coupons optional. NOTE: a white board at start with excersizes listed is invaluable. 
Correction: so we substituted burpees with WW2 sit-ups.  (Bc we did enough burpees) And added at the end that each PAX could pick one of the Durpee exercises and finish our time here with 50 reps of that.  
it turns out all that back and forth gave us a mile of workout 😳.  

That was enough pain for the day! 

WOD 

How would you like a list of things to do to be happy? God gave us very simple instructions on how to be happy.  Jesus’s sermon on the mount gave us the Beattitudes.  The word “Blessed” comes from the Greek word Makarios meaning “Happy”, so read it now replacing “blessed” with “happy”

““Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

if you’re still reading this kudos! 

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:3-12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

prayers (God knows and remembers the need here) 

Announcements (tumbleweed, wood? Tangle?) 

Hope you enjoyed this 9-10 days late! 

swinger out! 
Aye!