“Put Me in Coach (Aka – Cuz), I’m ready to Q”

Unbeknownst to probably most of the 14 Pax that rolled out of the fartsack on this windy morning, today was a monumental day. At the very least, it was for YHC, so I’ll chalk that up as a win!

Today was YHC’s VQ. Thankfully but not thankfully (because we always miss Cuz when he’s absent), Cousin Eddie sent out an email a few weeks ago asking for a Substi-Q. In what I would consider a slightly overzealous decision, I quickly volunteered to fill Cuz’s big shoes. Despite the generous offers from some of our seasoned vets to come off the bench, my eagerness to say “put me in coach,” moved me up the depth chart before my official start date in April.

Being the self-proclaimed nerd that I am, YHC began reading through all 482 entries in the F3 Exicon and even created a little cheat sheet for myself that Abraham enduringly called my “Blanket”. After a few days of scheming and driving downtown last night to plot my path (since YHC is still new to Hickory and still gets lost), here is how it all transpired:

The Warm-Up

• SSH – x15 IC
• ISS – x15 IC
• Big Arm Circles (which honestly were more like Normal Arm Circles) – x15 IC
• Merkins – x12 IC

*Note: My “Blanket” also had Windmills and Toe Touches on it, but in the midst of the mumblechatter concerning YHC’s fumbling around, I forgot to call these workouts. In hindsight, warming up our legs a little more may have been beneficial.

The Thang

We moseyed over to the walls near the store where Jordache expressed his desire to purchase some of the women’s skinny jeans. Speaking of Jordache, he strolled in to fashionably late at this point, claiming that he had to put sweet potatoes in the oven…

• Step-Ups – IC x15
• Incline Merkins – 10 OYO
  • (1 Normal, 1 Wide Arm, 1 Diamond = 1 Merkin) – The Exicon calls this the “Worst Merkin Ever” – It was).
• Decline Merkins – 10 OYO
  • (1 Normal, 1 Wide Arm, 1 Diamond = 1 Merkin)
  • It was at this point PAX were already starting to grumble and I was proud of myself!
• Hallelujah Step-Ups – IC x15

Mosey over to the parking lot by the Lowe’s Food playground.

• Ski Jumps on a line – IC x15
• Copperhead Squat – IC x15
• Prisoner Squat – IC x15
• Sumo Squat – IC x15
• Monkey Humpers – 30 OYO
• Gorilla Humpers – 30 OYO

After the humpers, we moseyed to the corner of  “Abe’s Church” and some street (we were by the front steps of the church).

Here, the Pax formed a line and began the Bataan Death March. For those of you who don’t know what this is, it’s an Indian Run, but the person in the back completes 5 burpees and then must sprint to catch up to the group and get to the front of the line.

• We did this around the square. YHC thought one lap would be enough time to give all PAX a chance to do burpees, but apparently we needed to do 2. So we did.

*Note: Because we took more time than expected, YHC had to skip a set on my “blanket”. I suppose I’ll just have to save that for my next Q. The whole SpongeBob post on Twitter revolved around the next station, so sadly, that tweet is now virtually irrelevant.

Nevertheless, we moseyed over to the hilly parking lot next to the Cabaret – a favorite pit stop for all Howitzer Q’s.

We then fittingly proceeded with some Burp Back Mountain.

• Got in groups of two. One partner did burpees while the other ran up the hill and back down. Then flap jacked until the group got 50 burpees (YHC secretly called an audible as the original plan was to do 100 total burpees). A few Pax got some EC and did a victory run up and down the hill.

Finally we moseyed back up the hill and back to where we started and commenced in a totally planned 10 minutes of Mary. For those of you who don’t know my M and I are going on a cruise in June and I told my wife I would have a slight showing of abs by then, so I figured I better get started. For someone who was a 295 lb linemen in college, this would be a dream come true – thus 10 minutes of circle Mary. My pseudo-abs still hurt.

• Admittedly, YHC doesn’t recall all of the Mary we did. It’s safe to say it was most of the usual suspects: LBC, Dying Cockroach, Pretzel, Flutter Kicks, American Hammers, etc. It was enough though.

Announcements/Prayer

• April 8 is Anniversary Convergence
• There’s a lot of running going on
• Q-School – March 18

WOD

• John 3:30 – Far too often, we try and compare ourselves to others. Like John’s disciples and the Jewish rabbis, we are constantly attempting to flex our work muscles, our spiritual muscles, our brain muscles, our athletic muscles – all in the name of being better than the next guy. Competition is good. It can be healthy but it can’t be everything. John, in just a few powerful, short words, reminds us “He Must become greater, I must become less.” Let us live our lives daily remembering those words. It’s not all about us. It never has been and never will be.

Reflections on my First Q

• I had a lot of fun.
• It was challenging.
• I can guarantee that I won’t forget to say “Exercise” next time I get a Q.
• I appreciate all the mumblechatter and giving me a hard time – I know it’s because you all genuinely want me to get better.
• I also appreciate that I overheard Publix say I shut down some of the mumblechatter. That’s a good thing!
• Q-School is important. I will be there March 18.
• Since I underestimated the transition time between some of the spots, I’m glad that I could assist some of our runner friends in getting a little extra practice in at a Bootcamp AO. You are welcome.

All in all, I am grateful for the opportunity today. I look forward to more opportunities in the future.

And as my pastor at the church I attended in college would always say…

I am less without you.

– Peaches