ER’s Little Book of Instructions

Anyone who’s near my age remembers that book Life’s Little Book of Instructions.  You probably received at least 4 copies for graduation like me.  It is full of stuff like: Don’t Forget to Brush your Teeth, Always Carry an Umbrella, Wipe front to back, or the timeless suggestion:  Make Sure you always have a quarter in your pocket so you can use a pay phone in an emergency.

If ER had a book of instructions, it contain useful bits like:

• Q should always lead a workout in or around the parking deck
• Q should also encourage use of Hospital Hill
• Make sure to check the stairs for a Homeless Deuce before entering
• Don’t touch any orifice before you wash your hands after a workout.
  • Seriously, don’t.  Imagine all the vermin, swill, and germs that folk excrete on the concrete as they walk in to the hospital that your hands are in…yak.

With that in mind, here’s what we did:

Warmups. Standard stuff, you can guess what it was

One lap of what we old guys like to call Old School ER.  You remember the drill, right?  20 reps on this lap:  merkins and LBCs.  5 stops per lap.  Side Note:  did you know that each lap is .7 miles, average time per lap for your boy is 6 minutes, and Herniator still holds the record at 7.5 laps during an official workout?

Meet up at the bottom and do work until the six (me) arrives.

Lap 2 was another throw back.  Way back when Lenoir’s Most Amicable Preacher used to visit us and was on the Q list he called this:  BLIMPS at each of the 5 stops.  So that’s what we did:  5 burpees, 10 lunges, 15 ISS, 20 merkins, 25 plank jacks, and 30 squats x5.  That took a long time (TWSS).

Mosey to new block pile – thanks First Baptist – for quick partner exercise.

P1: curls

P2: sprint down prescribed distance, 10 squats and return to switch

1st exercise: 200 team curls

2nd exercise: 150 team curls

Although it was already 6:14, we had to use Hospital Hill, so I persuaded the pax to return to the flag (thanks for bringing it Phlegm) the long way which was to run up HH and down Center St.

Circle up for WOD, announcements, etc.

Moleskin Stuff:

• Phlegm took off up HH like a bat out of Hades (https://oppositelock.kinja.com/driving-like-a-bat-out-of-hades-1613091929?utm_medium=sharefromsite&utm_source=default_copy&utm_campaign=top).  Jordache wasn’t too far behind and just kicked it in Jordache Gear and smoked all fools.
  • I don’t even have a 3rd Gear, much less a Jordache Gear
    • if I were a car, I’d be a tractor
• Powder tried to catch Jordache coming down Center St.
  • Jordache heard him coming
    • Powder also doesn’t have a Jordache Gear #2ndplacebitches
• Smoky Mtn Relay is this week.  Proud of those that posted this am despite this fact
  • I.  Am.  So.  Damn.  Jealous.
  • HC for 2020
  • Hands down the Best relay in Swain County
  • Someone please get me a $5 XL 2017 version shirt if they have any left over.   2017 version is that dark grey sweet ride.
  • Side note:  Hickory Hops is this saturday.  I’ll pour some out for my homies for sure.  Hope you’ll do the same for a brother at Nantahala.
• Patty is on spring break and stayed for the COT!  Very exciting
• Hot Lips.  Ditto.  These things just don’t happen very often.
• Everyone that posted was on time before the 5:30 start bell was rung.  This is a fairly rare thing now a days.
• Fuse and I had on the same BRR shirt.  For some reason his doesn’t smell like Billy Goat’s Gruff just wore it.  Mine does.
• Speaking of Billy Goat’s Gruff (good FNG name), Ferdinand beefed in the stairwell and that’s what it smelled like afterwards
• Publix just HC’d to BRR team and I’m pumped to have that fella with us.  Going to be a great team
• I was a bit slow on the BLIMPS, and my main Sheamus waited for me a couple times.  ‘preciate it fella.
  • Bit slow doesn’t do my speed justice
• YHC is double booked for Q tomorrow.  As we were chugging up Hospital Hill, I told Ferdinard that he was going to Q in my place at Howitzer.  The standard immediate reply that we all have said was “I’m not ready”.  I called BS and told him he was and that our boy Powder would help him out.  I’m excited for him and can’t wait to hear about it.  That’s what F3 is all about, invigorating male leadership in the community.  If you’re still reading this and thinking of posting go ahead and give that fella an HC.  Later when I told him that it’ll be a bit nerve wrecking and it’s ok if he screws something up, he said “Oh, I won’t, I got this”.
  • I like him

Always an honor and a privilege to be in the presence of you men.

Out