Take A Ride On The Worst Roller Coaster Ever!

Conditions:

Probably cold. The weather has been on a roller coaster of its own lately. It was last week, I was on Q, so I’m guessing it was cold.

YHC has noticed a lot of mumblechatter online about elevator this or escalator that and blah, blah, blah. Elevators and escalators only go for so long and are slow! This is F3; we are a lot of things but we are not know as being “long” or “slow” (Editor’s note: That’s what she said”…you’re welcome Cuz!)! As you know, I’m the “self-proclaimed”, as Cuz says, “Angry Preacher”; F3 Lenoir knows it’s more than just “self-proclaimed”. In fact, the mere mention of my name invokes the rise of Kleenex stock by at least 75% and causes even the best of PAX to fartsack. Don’t believe me? Check out the numbers and ask the PAX! So, anyway, when this “Angry Preacher” takes Q, I find a way to make even the most fun, happy thing in life, well, HORRIBLE! So, with all of that said, I devised a way to have a Roller Coaster themed workout. Check out how it went!

Warm-A-Rama

• SSH ICx10
• Toy Soldiers ICx10
• LAC ICx10
• Reverse LAC ICx10
• Humpies ICx10

The Thang – The Roller Coaster: the 4 carts go up one gigantic “hill” and back down to “level ground”.

• Mosey up Willow and Ashe to First Presbyterian Church
  • 5 Merkins
• Mosey to back of First Baptist Church
  • 10 Merkins
  • 5 Squats
• Mosey to Ridge, right on Ridge, stop at Post Office
  • 15 Merkins
  • 10 Squats
  • 5 WWII Sit-ups
• Mosey up Norwood, right on College, stop in front of BB&T
  • 20 Merkins
  • 15 Squats
  • 10 WWII Sit-ups
  • 5 Burpees
• Mosey down Mulberry to hospital
  • 15 Merkins
  • 20 Squats
  • 15 WWII Sit-ups
  • 10 Burpees
• Mosey down Mulberry, right on Davenport Ave, right on N. Main, stop at Capital Bank
  • 10 Merkins
  • 15 Squats
  • 20 WWII Sit-ups
  • 15 Burpees
  • Now the whining, complaining, begging to God for mercy began…sorry, mercy is not in lexicon, so suck if up buttercups!
• Mosey down College Ave to old Catholic church
  • 5 Merkins
  • 10 Squats
  • 15 WWII Sit-ups
  • 20 Burpees
  • Last cart hit the peak of our track, it’s all down hill from here, fellas!
• Mosey down College Ave, right on Steel St, to corner of Harper and West (Lenoir Building Supply)
  • 5 Merkins
  • 5 Squats
  • 10 WWII Sit-ups
  • 15 Burpees
• Mosey up West Ave to corner of West and Willow (the end is in sight but still some suffering! Psychological Warfare!
  • 5 Merkins
  • 5 Squats
  • 5 WWII Sit-ups
  • 10 Burpees
• Mosey back to A/O – all the carts are back to the start
  • 5 Merkins
  • 5 Squats
  • 5 WWII Sit-ups
  • 5 Burpees

Tired? Yep. Sport-Tek sweat stank? Yep! Mumblechatter? Almost dead silence. Nothing this side of heaven completely quiets the mouths of Baby Face and Snips but this was close! The men survived the worst roller coaster ever! Congrats, men! I knew you had it in ya all along!

WOD

Matthew 6:34, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” YHC explained why he hates roller coasters. (Enter the peanut gallery to explain their belief YHC probably hates most things: amusement parks, laughing children, fun, etc. Did Abe get this much crap from the PAX? Oh yeah, worse I’d venture to guess) The reason I hate roller coasters is that I hate not having control of what happens next: loops, cork screws, speed, etc. Life happens and a lot is out of our control. Lean on God who knows tomorrow. He will give you strength.

As always, men, it was a pleasure! Next stop for this roller coaster will be SoCal in good ol’ GF!

Until next time…