Conditions: Foggy, slightly humid, mildly warm. Just the right combination to workout.
YHC pulled up this morning to the dark, dark parking lot of Prison Break with two PAX already eager to get their punishment on! This made YHC slightly excited thinking if two are already here at 5:09; we are going to have a good crowd! We had 5…can’t complain, they were five half decent men who showed up. That’s more than enough to keep me motivated. YHC had planned to give some cred to the OLD G.O.A.T. runner of F3 Lenoir, aka Rooney’s “2.0”, Spokes; unfortunately for him he stayed up late last night in debauchery on holy ground. Unfortunately, for those who posted, this did not deter YHC from the aforementioned plan. It was time to bring out some Spokes!
Warm-Up:
- SSH ICx15 (not the same without Baby Face, who likes these so much he looks like Richard Simmons on crack while doing them)
- ATT ICx15 (not near as funny when Double Bogey is not there to be made fun of for his lack of coordination…right foot to left hand DB!)
- Windmills ICx15 (this was just stupid and boring…why the heck did I do 15 of these?)
- IST ICx15 (not near enough PAX this morning to question what good is an IST?)
- Butt Kicks ICx15 (just a small sampling of the butt kicking that would be coming…)
- High Knees ICx15 (at this point we just look like some old men who have escaped the local nursing home…it’s high knees not smedium knees!)
- Shoulder Destoryers (combination of “warm-up” and beginning of the workout)
- Little Arm Circles ICx15
- Reverse Little Arm Circles ICx15
- Chinooks ICx15
- Overhead Claps ICx15
- Air Press ICx15
- Moroccan Night Clubs ICx15
- YHC note: this was utterly stupid, especially considering YHC knew what was coming next…on another note PBR looked like a reject from a Milli Vanilli video when we began the chinooks and moroccan night clubs; YHC almost cracked a smile…moving on…
Spoke #1: Chest
- Center: 15 Merkins
- Point 1: 15 Flies with bricks (this was just enough weight we could possibly consider trying out for the middle school girls’ gymnastics team)
- Center 15 Merkins
- Point 2: 15 Bench Press with block (we looked a little more manlier…but only slightly)
- Center: 15 Merkins
- Point 3: 15 Diamond Merkins (this caused this preacher to think bad words about my own sanity)
- Center: 15 Merkins
- Point 4: 15 Wide Arm Merkins (looked over at Goodwill kinda smiling…pretty sure he was smerkin at my merkin…TWSS?)
Spoke #2: Biceps
- Center: 10 Curls with block
- Point 1: Alternating curls with bricks 20/arm (maybe next time I should bring some of those little 3 pound hand weights? Not sure I could’ve made us look more feminine at this point)
- Center 10 Curls with block (maybe those bricks are doing more than I thought?)
- Point 2: Hammer curls with brick (at this point I’m glad that whoever owns light in parking lot has chosen to not use it at night. I mean what good is a light in the dark anyway? At least in said darkness no one could see me with my little bricks grunting!)
- Center 10 Curls (I am dumb…just dumb)
- Point 3: 3 sets of 7’s (PBR found being seen that close to the street with the rest of us too damaging to his image so he completed his other two sets as far away as possible…can’t blame him…)
- Center: 10 curls (soccer arms are now feeling it!)
- Point 4: Close grip curls with block (finally done!)
Spoke #3: Back & Legs
- Center: 20 Squats w/ block
- Point 1: 15 Bent Over Reverse Flies
- Center: 20 Squats w/ block
- Point 2: 15 Side Lunges/leg (in my head I can almost hear Grout spitting out German at us!)
- Center: 20 Squats w/ block
- Point 3: 15 Shrugs
- Center: 20 Squats w/ block
- Point 4: 15 Reverse Lunges (yep, I feel that run from yesterday at Stargate)
Spoke #4: Abs (everyone was ready to stand up and applaud…or was it stand up and leave?)
- Center: 20 LBCs
- Point 1: 20 Flutter Kicks per leg
- Center: 20 LBCs
- Point 2: 20 WWII Sit-ups (Goodwill’s fave ab exercise…he just doesn’t know it yet)
- Center: 20 LBCs
- Point 3: 20 Leg Lifts (glad Twin wasn’t with us at this point, considering his love for sharing “hot wind”)
- Center: 20 LBCs
- Point 4: 20 Oblique Crunches per side
We, fortunately, had about 10 minutes or so left to workout. I reminded the group that we were here to make our muscles stronger and our most important muscle is our heart (TWSS…unfortunately…if you’ve been married long enough, you’ll understand…)! Big lap up Harper, left on Main, down West Ave and back to A/O.
We still had 2 minutes or so left. Time for 10 Burpees on your own!!! Woody was an absolute fan of this! If you are on Q please remember some burpees for Woody. He told me, when I called this, he loves me…or maybe it was hates me…YHC’s memory gets a little foggy at this point.
We had 30 seconds left and YHC decided to show a little mercy and call it quits early. I reminded the PAX that the Lord’s mercy is new every morning. Swinger saw the resemblance of the Lord’s mercy and the mercy YHC show them.
WOD: Mark 1:16-20; Jesus calls the unexpected and at unexpected times. Trust Him and fulfill the calling He has for your life.
Moleskin:
- Missed a lot of our MIA brothers! See you all soon!
- Give Snips credit, he missed this morning; BUT he came to Stargate, the place that boys go to become men, and ran 2.5 miles of it with us!
- PBR, it’s time we discuss your lack of facial hair, it is disturbing. Grow a goatee or beard. You cannot maintain your status as the machine without a decent beard. Otherwise, you the man.
- Goodwill, keep up the hardwork. Only a month or so left before you are dealing with the parolees…I mean 4th graders again.
- Swinger, excellent facial hair and a high tolerance for pain and suffering. This will take you far in life my friend.
- Woody, you came, you saw, and you conquered. Heck, you even ran a little bit and finished it off with your beloved burpees!
- If you are still reading this you are most definitely Cousin Eddie.
Friar out!